Random word generator poetry

the sirens with their floppy thorax
exiled on the waning nylon
mouthed witchcraft with their torchlight chanting
oxides trickled down the edges
as the sailors searched the gunmen sleeping
charmed befriended fettered with crosshairs
feathery injections slipping down the funnel's facing
kissing polymers enrage the hunger
syncopated feasting romance

bi-annual posting party a huge failure

...we join our hero at 4:20 in the AM, a time which in earlier years held a little meaning for him but which now just means five more hours till he goes home and sleeps. Nothing much has changed in the last few months. He still doesn't smoke. He hasn't had much fun. He's gotten drunk a few times and gone out once or twice. All of his BIG PLANS have kind of withered away with the waning sunlight. Not that he ever sees the sunlight, anyway. But even a nocturnal freak kind feel the abscence of the sun.

Our hero told his roommate, the only person who really paid any attention to him at all, that he didn't feel comfortable with the relationship the two had. He felt like her feelings for him were much stronger than his would ever be. Within a week she has a new guy. A guy that tried to hook up with her while both were coked out their minds while our hero was in the other room. Shows how much our hero knows. Now, he feels kind of cheated. Not because he's jealous. Just because he wishes she'd felt a little worse for a little longer, you know? Pretty sick. But, REALLY grossly human. Human like the type of humanity our hero usually disparages as weakness in others.

Anyway...he's started looking for other employment...because he can't fucking stand being alone like this for much longer. The lack of sleep is making blue-purple sacks under his eyes. Pouches of damaged bruised flesh crowned by bloodshot orbs. Not the best look for making new friends.

The sad part of the job search is that he has no clue what he wants to do. The only thing that's stood out is teaching English in Japan. How sad it is that he feels he must leave one of "the most priveledged countries in the world" just to progress. He has to leave his home and his friends to discover who he is or could be. Will our hero make the plunge? Will he continue on in his current non-path until the abyss swallows his whole personality? Will he start smoking again? Will he take one fuxing risk? Stay tuned!

dirty

I must be really bored tonight. This is my third post. I just read this and then read some stuff by some of her friends, also in bangkok and it suddenly hit me how boring my life is and how boring it's making me. Sometimes it's hard to see from the inside. It takes a ho (seriously, check it out...this girl likes the dick and likes to talk about it) from bangkok to show what some people's (real or imagined it's hard to tell) lives are like. And it wouldn't be all that impossible to do. I just feel like I've already resigned myself to mediocrity at 25. Maybe its just Family Matters and the promise of another episode once this one is over that's making me depressed or restless or however it is that I feel.

In other news, I am fostering a deep, deep hatred for Neil Boortz. The worst part about him is that he even lies about what he believes. He keeps saying he's a libertarian and hates the republicans just a tiny bit less than the democrats; but I've been listening to his show for weeks now and he hasn't said one thing (that I've heard) about the libertarian party except when he uses it to prove he's not biased toward conservatives. Oh, and he's either a great actor/manipulator or he's a moron and, on some issues, certifiably insane. But, that's my liberal bias and I guess this is a medium so technically I'm part of the elitist liberal media establishment and this isn't the page for politics anyway.

My Good Weekend

I slept Friday night.

I was bored on Saturday and Margaret was in Virginia at her Aunt's wedding so I went driving around with a list of things to do. Things like to get my hair cut, go to Goodwill and get some "new" clothes, and look at prices of outdoor furniture for our Halloween party. Things like that. Basically it was just so I didn't sit at the house and play Xbox football all day (I'm to the 2012 season in less than a week).

The thing is, the only thing on my list I got done was to get some coffee. I also went to Target and bought some 10 lb ankle weights, which I have been wearing since Saturday, and a jump rope. I drank my coffee in the car listening to CarTalk and decided to drive to High Point to see if Lucas was home since his phone had been "turned off" the last 2 times I had tried to get in touch with him. So I went to High Point and Beaver and Beaver were both there along with Flippy and Linc's new "friend" from Raleigh. There was talk of going to the World Beer Festival in Durham and Linc and his friend actually did go. Flippy left to go ride with her friend which left Lucas and I to have a 2 man Beer Festivus of our own. Which we happily did.

It was an afternoon (and night) of drinking, highlow-redblack, and politicking (if politicking means talking politics and basically agreeing with each other... except for Lucas's feeling that voting didn't really matter; which may be true, but is such a clichéd attitude of the youth of the last few generations that I hate to fall into it). [I just looked up politicking and that is what it means, basically].

Woke up fairly early on Sunday and basically stayed awake till Monday afternoon. When I woke up tonight my eyes were dry as shit and bright red. I really don't think I'll be able to work nights for too much longer. But I am kind of nervous that I won't be able to get a normal job and wake up in the daytime anymore. Like being diurnal is a skill that I've lost. I was never very good at it, but its been almost a year since I started working third shift.

And with that I leave you.

Bored word play

I felt the slip a second sooner than expected
and since the feeling's never left me
I kind of feel like I'm just floating
in the darkness in the water
alone not thinking,
arrested resting.
Just waiting till the sinking starts.


Retarded;
tarnished controlling brothers
holding wrists and twisting, pinching
fists hit with too much force,
slightly torn flesh is what resulted.
Reddened, bluish, yellowed, blackened:
these arms are rainbows arcing
twisted rays almost escaping.
My tips and toes so close to heaven.

So, yeah... I started to think that blogging wasn't as cool as it seemed..

...but I really don't have much of an outlet since I don't really see anybody during the week. I need some way to vent about the news, share things with the outside world, and practice my typing skills. So, I know it's been 2 months (actually more like 2.66) without a post on here or my other, more politically oriented, blog. So, I'll recap what's happened in the last 2 & 2/3 months. Lots of things have changed.

1. First, Margaret and I moved into a house together near UNCG. We're pretty good as roommates, especially since we don't really see each other during the week due to our opposite schedules. I feel bad sometimes because (since I sleep while she's awake) she feels like she has to be really quiet or out of the house till 10 every night. That's really my fault since I tend to fall asleep in the den much more often than in my room because the den is much darker in the daytime. So, basically she's paying rent for a house that she doesn't spend a lot of time in. But, maybe that's ok. Her choice, I guess.

2. I stopped smoking!! At least I've not smoked a cigarette in the last month and a half or so. That's pretty good for someone who smoked regularly for 8-9 years. I quit cold turkey when I got back from Vermont (where I, and several others, experienced Phish's last official show despite numerous setbacks and delays). I quit because my throat hurt and was sick. Then I lost my voice for three or four days. I figured I might as well keep going after I'd gone for a week. We'll see how long I go.

Now that I think about it, it would have made for interesting blogging to document the progress of my smoking cessation. The thoughts that occasionally went through my head. Maybe I'll start again just so I can write about it. But, I guess I'm still going through it. I mean, I wouldn't mind smoking a cigarette right now, y'know? Wow; just writing about smoking is making me want one. So, maybe it's better that I didn't sit here night after night and write about how much I wanted to smoke. Obsessing probably wouldn't have helped my cravings.

3. I said lots of things had changed...I guess that's not really true. A few things have changed. I have a goatee now. Really, it's just practice for the beard that I will eventually grow. What else? I've been cooking more. I made Margaret a cake for her BD. I made empanadas last week and I'm still eating them since I made six. I also have a bunch of the filling left over which would make good spaghetti sauce with a little tomato sauce. Um... I bought an xbox to reward myself for not smoking...someone stole Margaret's new lawn mower out from under our house. Fucking animals. So we're now sharing Luke's and Linc's (beaver & beaver).

4. Oh! I, arch-nemesis of all things cellular and phone-like in nature, got a cell phone since we weren't going to get a house phone. I have to admit that it is more convenient. GOing to Vermont it saved us. We probably wouldn't have made it without one.

Anyway, that's all I can think of right now and this post is way too long already. Now that I broke the seal hopefully I'll keep this a little more updated. Also, check out Tunkamerica for some mind-blowingly (blowingly?) insightful reactions to news of the day as the campaign drags itself painfully closer and closer to the finish line. I lost interest for a while because it all seemed so petty and Kerry looked like he was going to win. Now, that the outcome is less assured I feel like I need to do my tiny little part to preach to the choir and provide some links to stories we've all read anyway. Anyway, I'm out.

As I settle in to this chair, this life...

...I realize that I haven't updated the blog in a while. Chris said that he thought I might have died in tennessee since neither me nor my brother had updated since before we left. So, here I spring back up & out of the lands of the dead with this post.

The only explanation that I have is that the job has gotten extremely draining. But not in the way that a construction job or middle management is draining, physically and mentally, but in the way that my will to live is slightly drained every time I hit the record button (for the 10,000th time) or hear Steve Urkel laugh. You would think that the blog would keep me alert and it kind of does but I've taken to wallowing in the boredom. Reading news religiously. It's done wonders for my outlook, believe me.

So, in other news: John's b'day next week. I'll probably be in Raleigh. Lincoln & Flippy's the following week so I'll be in High Point. Two-three weeks later is Josh's so I'll be broke by September (or what I refer to as Wreck-tember.)

The radio show is doing well (90.9 Sundays from 8-10pm, payola is accepted in limited amounts), but we've gotten kind of comfortable so we made a couple of amateurish mistakes last week. Two of which involved leaving the mic on for 10-20 secs and one where I got distracted and forgot to cue up the next cd & ended up playing the same Beastie Boys track twice. Well, only a few seconds of the same track the second time. It wasn't too bad. Josh just doesn't play along with me when I try to lighten the mood up. I'll ask him a question expecting a little effort and he'll respond with " I don't know" or just several seconds of silence. It's hard to do a two man show when one of the men is a mute.

Anyway, I think I've pretty much gotten over the whole near-death experience of a few weeks ago, so maybe I'll start posting again. Now, I just need something to say.

Being up all night is finally starting to Pay off

No, it's not, but I have to drive all night tomorrow, possibly alone, and I am pretty damn sure I can handle it. Not like you pussies. With your "sun" and your "flowers". Why don't you fuckers go slip n'slide? I can drive all night and not be tired. What can you do? Meet girls? I can see in the dark now and that's pretty cool. You can't. You'll stub your toe. And stubbing your toe sucks. Losers.

Anyway, I'm going to Bonnaroo tomorrow night in MAN/chest/er: 10/I/C maybe with a friend from boone (Erin White) or John or J-ABs. I'm looking forward to David Byrne. Dylan's playing at the same time as YOmamaLAcksTENGOldteeth which produces a quandary. I've seen Bobbie D three or four times and YLT never. But I want to see both because there is the real chance Dylan could tip over any day now.

I talked to K*tie (name censored to protect her identity) today and invited her to go to tennessee with me and she seemed really up for it. But, she didn't realize it was a 5-day commitment and had to work twice this weekend. She offered to come up for half a day saturday, but that wouldn't really be worth it. Anyway, I'm heartened (stoked for you surfers) because I think there was a vibe. 440 hz if I'm not mistaken.

...th e nd?

Just a few thoughts.

So, I'm totally wired on coffee because I acted like a normal person on Sunday and went to bed at night and woke up in the morning. For someone who works nights that's not a good idea. On top of that Harris Teeter (where I purchase staples) was closed for floor cleaning and I didn't have time to go anywhere else to get food. So, every time I felt hungry I'd just pour myself another cup of piping hot Sumatra or smoke a piping hot cigarette. Needless to say my hands are shaking more than Dick Cheney before his fifth deferment.

On the topic of coffee...I just heard about a study that said drinking more than one coffee a day could be good for the livers of people who drink too much alcohol. I guess, since it's a diuretic, it might clear the impurities out before they do as much damage as they might've.

I also read about an interesting report in a fairly recent issue of Playboy about salary levels of men and women. According to this study if men and women that have the same background, experiences and career decisions are compared in terms of salary a woman makes 98% of a man's salary. The article went on to say that women are more likely to make decisions that negatively impact their potential salaries. They're more likely to work in lower paying fields, less likely to complete higher education, less likely to work full time, more likely to take extended time off (prob. for childbirth and related conditions). Now don't get me wrong, I am definitely skeptical, but it's an interesting thought considering the widely held belief that women make 76% of a man's salary.

One more step toward my total Media Domination

SO, tonight Josh, my 14 yr old brother, and I started our training to be DJs at WQFS (90.9 in Greensboro). All I need now is to start a 'zine and I'll have an appendage in most forms of mass media. Our trainer was a big red-haired bearded fellow (complete with bandana sweatband) who looked to have played more than his fair share of D&D. He said his dad was the voice for Pep Boys radio commercials. It was fun. I've always kind of wanted to be on the radio, but I hate corporate radio/music so I never pursued it. Corporate/cock rock was all Appalachian's radio station played. That's why I went with video, which was fun, but

Monday monday

So, there I sold my Blazer for 500 bucks. I accidentally kept all the floor mats and the change holder, though. I was trying to be cool and clean the car out a little and forgot to put those things back in. The guy who bought it still said it was messy. He came at 8 in the morning; I had fallen asleep at 430-500 EST after having indulged my taste for alcohol a little too liberally. Needless to say, I wasn't in the mood to sell a car.

I think I embarassed myself the night before...though it really hasn't come back to me yet. I called my friend Jennifer (who I hadn't talked to in 2 years or so) at 230 EST on her home phone, not knowing her situation at all, and left a semi-drunken way-too-excited-for-3-in-the-morning message on her answering machine. She could be married with a little kid for all I know. Anyway, she hasn't called me back. I think I might try again at a more reasonable hour and at least apologize. What do you think?

I think I'm going to leave all the decisions in my life up to people who post comments on this site. I mean you guys probably can't screw my life up anymore than I could. If you say call her, I'll call. If you say don't call, I won't.If you say crash my car into her house...well, I'll need quite a few comments to convince me of that one, but I'll definitely take it under advisement.

Was back in Raleigh once again. Was the least exciting time yet, though I did actually go to a party and meet several new people. I was just so tired...and hanging out with Amy has gotten exhausting. Physically and mentally. Emotionally? A little of that, too. John graduated. My parents stood me up for dinner. Hung out in a field drinking beer and listening to some shitty skinhead punk band. I need a new town to escape to. The sad thing is that is so much better than greensboro would've been.

/\/\

So, I feel like I'm getting brainwashed by informercials. You can't watch 2.5 hours a night of anything, especially something that is designed to influence you, without being influenced.

I definitely want the Oreck Air Purifier. It's only 379.99. Shipping is free and you get a fucking vaccuum.

And the Gazelle Free Spirit as advertised by Tony Little. I also want the drugs that Tony Little is on. He grunts and screams his way through life and seems happy doing it. Not to mention how pretty he looks when he's got make-up on and he's not in his gym clothes.

So, I'm selling my Blazer on Ebay and with 20 hrs left its up to $270. Which is alright considering it needs a new engine. I'm going to use the cash to pay the first month's rent or deposit down on an apartment. Still need to finalize roommate situations. Basically, I have to decide if I'll be able to stand Margaret for the next year. I think it'll be fine unless one of us flips out. I don't think I'll flip out...

Introducing...Tunkamerica!

So, I've started on the groundwork for Tunkamerica . It'll be a place where I can espouse my anti-everything views so that they don't build up and poison the rest of my life like they have for the last 25 years. Anyway, enjoy...I have a little work to do before 5(AM).

Sarcasm doesn't work

...or does it?

What the Fuck?

Just another AgDay.

All will fall before the eternally youthful Victoria Principle and the Van Dragt family.

So, I think I'm going to start another page more focused on news and politics with a bunch of links to stories and "what-not". I kind of want to keep that seperate from my personal stuff because I try to do that in RL and it can be distracting. I think I'll try to do it either this morning when I go home or tonight when I get back to work. It'll give me an excuse to read even more news. Obviously, since I am of a more liberal bent, the stories might tend to lean left a little, but I have already decided to be fairly objective with less editorial and more fact based pieces.

Exciting! Right? Oh, and when I said that sarcasm doesn't work? I was lying.

Oh, and if anyone is reading this at any point...leave me a comment. I'm dying here. I feel like I'm talking to myself. I mean, what do you people want? You want me to make funny observations about everyday life? What's the deal with Professional Roller Hockey pants? I mean is it just me? Or, do they look like amateur Roller Hockey pants?

I've read a few random "'blogs" as research for this...and I've noticed that a lot of the kids (13-18) seem to be using depression, blantant shit-talking, and suicide threats as ways to get comments. I might try this...and if that doesn't work...I'll kill myself you chicken fuckers.

Wired

So, chocolate covered espresso beans are the only thing "that're" keeping me alive right now. It's about 20 till 1 and the Outer Limits is playing in the background. It's actually been a pretty interesting episode. Brad, from Home Improvement (another WB gem), is one of the characters playing a jock {!gasp!}. He and four or five other highschool stereotypes have to pick one kid to die or they all will at the ends of a seven foot tall alien in a hooded robe. I have a bad feeling that its all going to be in the mind of the stoner (stereotype #4) who ate some bad peyote. Oh, the stoner picked the Christian girl. She's dead! Now he's crying in the hall "Nobody wants me!" And now the alien has taught him that people are able to change. And the episode ends like the Breakfast Club, but with some gay Canadian music playing while the stoner (burn-out) crying and then turning his gun (oh yeah, he had brought a gun to school) into the principal.

If only there had been alien intervention in Columbine! I guess that's the moral. That, or don't eat peyote at school.

So, my friend Sarah (from NY) is moving to Thailand next week and I'm jealous. Not that I really want to go to Thailand. I just want to be out doing something. I'd take squatting in Belgium if I could get it. I've just got that feeling (I wrote itch first, but I thought that might come off wrong). You know that feeling... like you need to be movin' on? I am nervous for her, though. I mean, Bangkok is the city of sin. I'm afraid she'll be irreversibly jaded when she gets back. And Daddy don't want no jaded chicks.

Sorry...no time to Talk

So, I had a lot of work to do tonight and I don't have much time to write... but this is a good article on the abuses of American troops towards Iraqi prisoners from the Washington Post.

Niche-search 2004

So, I'm tentatively stretching out into this new environment; getting comfortable. I changed the font size and the color of the description. I've never really tried html before. I took a class in school but dropped it when I missed class one day in the second week, missed the homework assignment and was told by my oh-so-forgiving professor that the best I could hope for in the class was a C. Starting out in the class with a C? I had never dropped a class and it was my junior year, so I dropped it.

Anyway, I don't know quite what to say...or rather how to begin. I'm a fairly political person and I read the news constantly. But, does anyone really need a rehashing of the same google stories over and over? There's a link on the right for those that do.

I am also into a lot of music, but no where near the level of any number of music nerds on the net. Especially not in one specific genre. I don't know Stevie Jackson's shoe size or John Fishman's lawyer's name. I don't save my paychecks for that new storm and stress import VD CD LP.

I am on the internet a lot... and I watch a lot of bad television because of my job. I've only been here 3-4 months and I'll have seen every episode of "Living Single", "Just Shoot Me", "The Addams Family", and countless others within the month. And I am a fuckin' expert on infomercials.

Well, I'm sure if I keep at it it'll fall into place. I kind of feel I'm writing an extended pointless e-mail to someone I don't know and probably will never meet.

Initiating....waiting....waiting....

So...how is everything? This is my first post on my new weblog...if the past is any indicator then I may be lax about updates. The irony about this form is that the more interesting things that are going on, the less time you have to update. Thankfully, very few interesting things happen to me so I should have plenty of time to keep this up. If nothing else, its a way to keep up my typing skills.

If you don't know me (and there's no reason to think that you, imaginary reader, would...then I'll give you a little background. I'm a 25 year old Caucasian male who lives in Greensboro, North Carolina. I graduated from Appalachian State University a few years ago with a degree in Broadcasting/Electronic media and a minor in English. I work the 3rd shift as a Master Control Operator@ WTWB, a television station affiliated with the WB.

Needless to say I have a lot of free time at work since I work all night, all by myself...all alone, so alone... but sometimes I hear noises. I know this is pretty unbelievable, especially since you as Imaginary Reader and I as Formless Faceless Author haven't built "the trust", but the station that I work at is built over an old graveyard. Part of the graveyard is still there right next to the building, surrounded by an office park, a hotel, and a gas station.

Anyway, I have heard whistling, and there are several stories from second hand sources. To tell you the truth, I'm still not sure I believe there's anything more than active imagination at work. And I'm always tired when I 'm at work...sometimes exhausted so my testimony may not be the most believable.